I want to share a parenting approach with you from a home school mom, that reparenting myself -re learning strategies, throwing everything for my master's degree in education out the window and starting fresh.
So something that has been really a personal trigger for me is I grew up in a very authoritative house. It was was former military.
It was “yes, ma'am,” or “no, sir” If not - “my way or the highway.”
I am re-parenting and re-proaching myself to to be more of a cooperative strategy with my kids. I want to have more of a teamwork mentality.
I'm learning from scratch, guys.
This is real talk.
So my almost 13 year old is getting to that very, very pressing stage where she's trying to figure out what where the boundaries are.
She's trying to try on emotions.
She's trying to try on an attitude of “maybe I should say these words.” Or “maybe this is a better tactic”
So you just see her, literally flipping emotions all the time. Trying on new “hat,” trying on “new outfits.” She is trying to figure out life.
So instead of me being triggered-Like she doesn't “respect” me, or “Respect my boundaries,” I've just seen it as she's, she has trying different things and I just need to be as patient. I need to say, “Hey that's probably not the right tool to use in that situation.” “Let's use this tool instead.” “This is what's going to help us in the situation instead of me being triggered.”
I'm just have to step back away from my personal emotions, away from my upbringing and think negatively, “she trying to usurp me.” “She trying to do everything against me.”
Instead, I need to have the mentality of a Team. So I'm the coach role. Let me tell you a better technique. This might be a better technique to use. This is a better tool to use and that phraseology has been Opening so many doors with our relationship.
Saying instead, “That wasn't the right tool.” “maybe we should have this attitude or we should say it like this.”
“If you want to get your switch and your phone later, this is probably not the right tool to use.”
“This is probably not the right tactic or the right strategy.”
“Why don't we say it like this? “
“This is kind of what I would see in a job situation or a work situation.”
“Can we practice those?”
And so I have more of this coach- player mentality, this training mentality.
I'm telling you, that is been such a game changer.
So if you have preteens and teens that are going through these, changes of them “trying on” emotions. You see attitudes coming in with a Hufflepuff attitude. They woke up on the wrong side of the bed and they're coming at you in the morning and you feel triggered.
Step back and say, “they're trying on all these different mentalities and All these different attitudes.”
We need to have a more of a coach- player mentality. Instead of it triggering us, and automatically we go into fight or flight mode.
I know that personally that's something I've had to re-parent myself, and break that down and died to that.
I want to break that generational curse of having this yelling mentality and flip mentality.
I want to have more of a teamwork goal that we're on the same team.
Let's have Unity. So that when they're older, we have a better relationship.
Let’s talk about how that could have done better.
I would love to hear what you guys are doing to kind of re- parent yourself, and the kids in your life.
And to do these strategies and we love to hear your comments below.
👏Hello! I’m Christal Marshall homeschool Mama of three!
📕we have been doing homeschooling for ten plus years and I left being a public school teacher with a M.Ed. to do so!
❤️Now our family is full time self-employed artists and creators!
💡We would love for you to hop on website www.thefunschoolers.com for more info and free resources!
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