I've been doing a lot of contemplation as a homeschool mom for the last 13 years—literally, it's been a grand experiment. As a former public school teacher with a master's degree, I made the decision to homeschool my kids.
My parents are very supportive, and I love them, but at the time, when I said I wanted to give up teaching and use my master's degree to homeschool, they looked at me like I had three heads. They were like, "Are you sure?"
Then COVID happened, and they said, "We've got you. We understand."
So, what does success look like for my kids ten years from now, after they graduate and are making their own choices?
One of my main goals is to have an amazing relationship with them. I want them to feel comfortable talking to me about anything—no judgment, just love and acceptance. I want them to feel like they can come home and invite their friends over, feeling safe and welcomed.
I get emotional just thinking about it. Some of my daughter's friends come to my house via Uber, and I've never even met their parents! They send their kids to a stranger's house, which is another story altogether.
Secondly, I want the sibling relationships to be very strong. If I can help it, I would love for my kids to be able to call each other in ten years, text each other, have game nights online, or do virtual meetups. I never want to hear them say, "We just don’t talk," or that there's bad blood between them.
Thirdly, I want to ensure that my marriage remains strong. God forbid anything happens to us, but if I can control certain aspects of my marriage, I would love for it to stay solid. A good family core and a strong relationship are vital to my kids' childhood. By avoiding trauma and maintaining a healthy relationship as a couple, we can help them feel safe and provide a solid foundation for their future.
So, my three goals are: having a strong relationship with my kids, fostering strong sibling relationships, and maintaining a good relationship with my spouse.
If I try to push anything outside of these goals—like forcing my kids to learn something specific, achieve certain degrees, or attend particular schools—without keeping those three goals in focus, I am not fulfilling my purpose as a parent.
A lot of people who come to me for advice on homeschooling ask about the details: the curriculum, the hours, evaluations, and all the nuances involved. However, all of those details come second to having a good relationship, a strong marriage, and a solid foundation.
If you focus on those three things, as Dr. Seuss said, you have a “98 and ¾ percent guarantee” of providing a great childhood for your kids and a good life for them.
These are just some thoughts from my years of homeschooling.
If you need more information about homeschooling in Virginia, I would love for you to visit my website, www.thefunschoolers.com, where you'll find blogs and resources, quick tips on how to get started, and much more.
Much love, everyone! Peace out.
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